Jibber Jabber!

22
1253

By : Rohan Muralidharan Iyer (Class of 2015 – NALSAR)

So the CLAT notification is out, it is going to be a rat-race to be the best among the rest. I am sure all of you are going to leave no stone unturned to get into one of the prestigious law schools. Moreover there are Boards and Pre – Boards to deal with too. This is a random jibber-jabber by a 5 pointer from law-school. I am not here to inspire or demoralize anyone; I am here to just share my experience with you.

I heard about CLAT when I was in my 12th. I got all excited to appear for it, since being a lawyer was something that I always fantasised about! Consequently I gave the exam and secured a credible rank and got into one of the best law schools of the country. I consider myself lucky because there were many people who worked far more assiduously and yet could not make it. It’s been 1.5 years now in this college, but somehow I feel lost here. Lost in the sense I still question my decision as to why I chose law, was it only because of all the hype that law school has? Or was it because there was an overdose of ‘Boston Legal’. I might sound like an arrogant fool who does not appreciate the worth of being in a prestigious law school. But this is the thought that embraces me a lot many times. It’s one thing to give CLAT and it’s a different ball game altogether to survive here and to face the “real world” as a lawyer/ law school student. I am not saying people are extremely competitive (some of them are) here, nor am I suggesting that law is enormously challenging. Both of these assertions that people carry before entering a law school generally tend to be fallacious. The law schools have their own culture, which is different from the normalcy of the society but integrated with it too.77ece92d7f2f0af40596a3e2f92f454e

What I am trying to say is, just think, think and think one more time whether you want to enter this field or not. It is not all that rosy as it may sound. The pressure gets on to me, I feel like an incompetent idiot and elsewhere I might have been THE most happening phenomenon. The thought of just leaving everything and running away from the hustle-bustle strikes me often. The Internships, surprise tests, project deadlines etc. are elements which haunt me and will continue to do so throughout my law school career. But beyond all that, talking in abstract terms, I sometimes feel I just DO NOT belong here. It feels like whatever I do or plan to do is hollow and pointless. There are phases of depression and emptiness that I face. I feel I could have as well studied in DU (smoking away my college life, which I still do but without meaning to it). This feeling reaches its zenith when your grades suck or you lose a competition. Am I being an escapist? Possibly yes, but the fact is these thoughts occur to me even when the above mentioned “tragedies” do not hit me.  I know I am not the only one who has felt this way, but people tend to ignore this thought because frankly it is too late now and everyone has to make a career.

So, prepare to be malleable and flexible. It is not easy out here. Once again it is what I feel, your experience might be poles apart in comparison to mine. Just be doubly sure that this is the thing you want to do. Every field has its own challenges, both materialistic and abstract; it depends on the individual as to how he/she takes it. I am dealing with my set of challenge, you guys are going to. ALL THE BEST!

Time to sleep and wake up early for internship tomorrow 😀
RMI.

22 COMMENTS

  1. Good article. my situation is more or less the same. I gave up DU to prepare for clat and am still not sure whether this is wat i wanna do. But for me, law school is where I’d rather be than anywhere else. I guess for some destination is wat matters and not the journey. cheers!

  2. And you said this article was not supposed to be demoralizing, way to go 😐 and I’m sorry to say that but if you wanna “leave everything and escape” then dude, you’re not dealing with the problems at all, you’re just trying to evade them. No offense there though.

  3. You presented a tough and crazy situation very well
    You added new dimensions to the article
    It was a good piece…..and all the best!!

    Being unconventional is a boon, just believe in it 🙂

    • same is my condition buddy but neither I can ignore the words of the experienced
      nor convince myself. Its true , our seniors always put us in hot waters.

    • If youre having doubts about choosing law, you should be appreciating this article more than anyone else. It takes a lot of bravery to do what Rohan has done-come up and admit how he made a mistake in a major choice. Not many can do that. And I really wouldnt say its the worst timing. Pre boards and Boards are adding to the stress right now- and better being given a reality check now then after suffering through all of that, entering law school and deciding you dont enjoy it.

  4. Uh, yes it does take a lot of courage to stand up and accept your mistakes, and I’m not dissing him here, its wonderful that he could do that. Just, personally speaking its bad timing. And my doubts lie in a different direction.

    And about the stress-that’s exactly why its the worst timing. There’s too much going on in our heads right now. 

    • Its true we’re stressed out…but you also have to agree that thats no excuse for ignoring the hard truths. Anyway, all the best for your exams and CLAT….hope you get over your doubts =) and maybe we’ll meet in law school one day =)

      • @Sam: What doubts you have, you can always ask, you know. There’s always someone who can help.
        As for the timing, like Soumya said, it’s like a reality check. And a fair warning. If you haven’t prepared well enough for your boards thus far, and start having second thoughts about Law after reading this, you might end up studying hard. 

  5. I get this from many law students, to be completely sure that I want to do law and only then join a law school. But when students from national law schools teach us legal aptitude or just come to lecture us,  the agility and wit they possess  makes one want to be like them! Hearing about various changes they make in the  society makes us doubly sure! This article is an eye opener and probably why most of them tell us to be completely sure of our decision. But then again, guess I’ll cross the bridge when i get to it! 🙂  Anyhow thanks for the forewarning!

  6. “I sometimes feel I just DO NOT belong here. It feels like whatever I do or plan to do is hollow and pointless. There are phases of depression and emptiness that I face. I feel I could have as well studied in DU (smoking away my college life, which I still do but without meaning to it). This feeling reaches its zenith when your grades suck or you lose a competition.”

    That’s all. Same story, different person.

    • Like you said, you’d have still smoked it away, yeah? Symbi or DU make no difference.
      Personally, I feel there’s so much more to it than grades. as long as one passes okayish.

      But yeah, the always phases come.

      • Sir ji you are in NALSAR, if I’m not wrong. And even if you fail there at something and feel worthless just like that, at least it feels okay to be useless in a place like that. 

        While here at Symbi, you wonder what’s the point of a 5 year long vacation. 

  7. A very well written and honest article i think.. we should not expect everyone to come along saying law is a bed of roses.. different people, different experiences..ya, but i agree, at this point, it does make me nervous! (I’d hate spending 5 years suffering depression bouts)

  8. I’d suggest three songs for you:
    1. Sometimes you can’t make it on your own
    2. Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking for
    3. Stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of

    All of the above by U2.

    Seriously, an extremely insightful post that comes as a reminder that good and bad things come in the same packaging, it’s for us to decide how to open the package and handle it. 

  9. hey!!a really good piece…ur article has promted me 2 think whether i should give clat dis yr or nt as i hv already enrolled in a govt. law clg…plz help

Post a comment or at least a 'thank you!' It's okay if you're ungrateful. :P