Life As I Know It – Chitwan Deep Singh

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Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finally I have gathered the courage to write this piece and I apologize in advance for the pathetic usage of English which you will witness. This is no post or article about how to crack ‘CLAT’, it’s just an experience. Yeah I have this urge to share what happened to me with everyone. Not that I was some “Stud” or anything, I was a simple boy who faced the the twists and turns of life. This is an account of what happened to me in the past months and what I learned from it.

I wished I had never gone to NDA. I had to return just after 7 months of training and not with the two stars on my shoulders (rather, two on my back). Yes I was in the National Defence Academy until life showed its true colours. God had a bad sense of humor, I must say. Life was at its pinnacle and it seemed to me that it would not stir. I had the best girlfriend a guy could ever wish for, was training at one of the best military institutions of the world. What more could a guy ask for? But then as God willed, it all came crashing down. No wonder some call life a roller coaster ride you see, not much of fun. I had a nasty break up. (You may think of me as a lover boy, but believe me I could not care less).Yes it hurt and still does but lets not go deep into it. What followed next was even more despairing. I returned to NDA after my winter break and everything was smooth and then bam!, The roller coaster takes a plunge. .While practising for cross country I tripped over and fell . Taken to the hospital, they declared me a flat footed person, and that renders me all but incapable of service in the defence forces. I could see the whole canvas of my life being destroyed in front of me; a canvas which I had so happily made in the deep reaches of my mind, the girl had gone; now the man in uniform was disappearing too. I knew I would get withdrawn sooner or later. Sickening deliberations clouded my mind until I happened to talk to Archit, my friend who was studying in NALSAR and with whom I had given my Army Interviews. After hearing my plight, he suggested I take CLAT. After searching through the net and being introduced to CG I realized it was not a bad option, in fact it was a brilliant one .Not in my wildest dreams had I thought of taking a law admission test. I had always seen myself in an army uniform, (As Lieutenant Chitwan Deep Singh). But times change and they change the circumstances and we change along the circumstances. Surprsingly I found law interesting and thought to give it a try.

The proceedings at NDA sickened me, I was being “marched up” to every official possible and this did not help me one bit to get over the two wounds which life had inflicted on me. I returned home in the middle of February this year. Often the recent times flashed in front of me, just a few days back I had NDA and now I had nothing. No more “glory” to cling on. It was all over and I thought my time had come too. I simply could not get anything out of my mind. I tried to study, my mind would drift to my life at NDA and this was taking over me. I couldn’t eat nor sleep. My parents were equally worried, but then I heard my inner self, I simply could not continue like this. Whatever little chance I have of cracking CLAT is just attenuating. I knew this must end, I had no one to fight against but myself, but believe me it is one of the toughest battle you will ever fight. The following lines of Tolkien taken from the Fellowship of the Ring say a lot.

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us I wished the same, I wished she had never come in my life, that I had never been in NDA, but then it was not for me to decide. What I was supposed to do was make full use of the time given to me, initially my inner demons prevented me from doing so but I knew I must fight them. I decided to give life another chance. Another opportunity to rise again. NDA had taught me to go on, long after you think you can’t. As Grame Fife says,”The greatest battle is not physical but psychological , the demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quite the steady dignity that refuses to give in. Courage, We all Suffer, Keep Going.”

With this I started my CLAT preparation from March and since then I have only loved my life. It has been such an awesome learning experience for me. Having made so many friends, I saw my life rejuvenate, I started laughing again. Each day was amazing, each one taught me something and I knew how wrong I was to have thought of quitting. I joined the LST group on facebook, got to interact with amazing people and made so many friends. As Coelho says, ” The journey is more important that the destination”.The prepration was indeed more important than the exam itself for I enjoyed every bit of it. It was not that I got this “made for law” feeling, but the time I was having which mattered.

After having a gala of a time and enjoying my ride ,CLAT happened and we all cursed NUJS for the paper they had made , even I felt sick but then I knew I had given it all I had, and that was what mattered to me the most. I got an AIR of 178, not the one I had hoped for, but then I realized, “it’s OK to be content with what you have but not with what you are.”CLAT wasn’t the end of the world, I could always improve and stride to be a better being than I am.

From experiencing the highs of life, to seeing the most desolate forms of it and again seeing some those highs I have realized that HOPE is always there. We must not give up. Just do your bit, give it all you have and remember you have much more in you than you think.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
~ Albert Einstein

These results won’t matter. What will matter more is YOUR hard work, YOUR determination and YOUR never- give-up attitude. To your family, to everyone who loves you, it won’t matter whether you studied from NLS or NALSAR or any Harvard Law School, what will matter to them is what you do with that knowledge, that learning experience, it’s about what you “choose” to be, it’s about “you”. It never matters where you come from, as long as you believe in yourself. As stated in Kung fu panda “For something to be special, you have to believe that it is special”. So just believe in yourself, know that you are special and give it all you have. At the end of the day, you need to tell yourself just one thing, ‘I BELIEVE IN ME!

May the force be with you.
Chitwan Deep Singh

53 COMMENTS

        • I have read her book “the secret”.. but not the whole of it. It surely is inspiring and whatever she says is so true!

          • It is!
            You will find whatever you want, that’s for sure. Your story reminds me that there’s so many ways to handle challenges, and instead of taking the escapist way out, it’s far better to face up.
            Good luck ahead, Mr. Future-Lawyer.

  1. amazing article!!all the best :D…just observed the fact that CLAT exam actually has so many people from totally different fields given it….who are totally suprised at stumbling across law…..:-)…and many who make it…..the common thing i guess is the determination to do somethng in life and to never gv up…:)

  2. You deserved it so God gave you. Touching stroy. All the very best for for your new path, God will support you. May be you are born to be a lawyer, but u did chose a wrong path of NDA and now you are in correct path.

  3. You’re a evidently a very strong-willed person, Chitwan, and I’m so glad I read this.
    Let me just tell you that your story is one that I will be quoting to people on occasion.
    I wish you the very best. 🙂

    • I am not that strong willed ,believe me, But we all have that something special in us, I am glad you like it. All the best!

  4. And you never know, 5 years later, if you still so wish, the two stars might come calling again. On the shoulders, of course.
    Vaakki, rabb rakkhaan.

    • They very well may!.. My mother has been telling me about the advertisements she saw in the papers, Army and Navy asking for lawyers, I will surely give it a try !

  5. Chitwan,
    As you know -the TOUGH get going as the GOING gets tough. You are a star alright and you surely are a soldier as good as they make at NDA. I am a serving army officer and mean it when I say this.
    All the best.You will remain a soldier of the country  wherever you are.

  6. Chitwan, you my friend, are amazing. This article reminded me of our first conversation on facebook. I was cribbing about the fact that I had not made it to NLSIU. When you told me about your story, I felt really small. I felt ashamed of myself because I was refusing to move on even though I had a seat in hand at NLUD. Your perseverance and determination serves as an inspiration for all of us. You are going to rock. Too bad that NLSIU couldn’t have you. May God always be with you. 🙂

    • Thank You Rishika!!….We all are going to rock.. All the best for law school … Hope to meet you on a fest or something.. Keep in touch!

  7. kya baat hai Chitwan , mere bhai 🙂 bus ab apni party pakki hai 😀 Aajao NALSAR ab tum… Chak de phatte nap de gilli , subah pizza shaam ko chilli !!

  8. Thank You Rishika!!….We all are going to rock.. All the best for law school … Hope to meet you on a fest or something.. Keep in touch!

  9. What an amazing journey, Chitwan, and despite its ups and downs, I’m sure it’ll be an even more amazing life in the years to come. On a more self-centered note, thankyou for writing this. I really, really needed to read this right now. ;] 

    • I hope it is Chaitali… I am glad this article helped you in someway, that was one of the reasons why I wrote it.. We all are having problems, but dont worry everything will be good. All the best for whatever you do!

  10. Chitwan Deep Singh – Don’t worry buddy! You’ll do well – after all its all mental haan!
    BTW – which course and sqn?
    there happen to be a lot of *pals* here in the national law schools!
    Good Luck and Do Well..

  11. Chitwan , you are true braveheart and i hope with all  i have in me that in future you get those  stars that you well deserve…………………….:)all the best to you for your future life……………………this one was one of the most awe inspiring read…………………..

  12. This is one hell of a simple story! What i inferred primarily is that you actually apply the quotes that you have stated. We all watch movies, inspiring documentaries and books. But you actually remember the lines that matter the most to you and you amalgamate it into your principles! Very impressive. Something most of us forget to do. And i totally agree, its the journey that matters. When i opened my LST modules for the first time, at once i resolved, that it wouldn’t matter that much to me if I cracked CLAT or not. Its the immense knowledge i’ll gain throughout the preparation that will be of so much help in life! Well, i wish you all the best for whatever you do, and i’m happy that you have such a positive attitude even after major setbacks which have now become your source of strength. Keep going 🙂 In the end, its all worth it!

  13. Having gone through something on the same lines,although you’ve gone through much more,I have to say that this is very inspiring indeed.This is the kind of stuff movies are made of 🙂
    Carpe Diem !

  14. cd der is only 1 thing dat i would like 2 tell u.nevr lie…come wat may….we all know wat had happnd.be man enough 2 face d truth…u were not meant 4 nda. 

  15. dear chitwan,hi!your journey is worth remembering and very much motivating.while i accept dat u had sum issues wid nda but to tell u very frankly your potential lay sum where else….and u have realized ur potential and talent.wat r v nda guyz finally?nuthin but big bloody shammers.v stand no chance of clearing wat u have achieved.and as far as ur girlfriend is concerned  u will get her back.she will realize her mistake sumday and she will cum back.have no doubts about it.and alwayz remember 1 thing dat academy has taught u-“my honour is my life.take anything away frm my honour and i will prefer 2 die”.datz all frm my side.all d very best for ur life ahead and hope 2 see u in an air conditioned office when we will be sitting in the jungles…..cya frnd.all d very best frm all ur 124 coursemates

  16. (AB*) CD..OK seriously dude …. you liked brasso i thought ? …. do not lie … you got chucked out of NDA … and had you been as strong as you portray …. you didnt have to attempt a suicide! 

    *AB- Academy Bomb

  17. From this article found that which i had left behind in my life a year back, i.e. how to live life and how important it is. Thanks. Your article has rejuvenated me and my soul.

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