A Wild CGer Appears!

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Hi. It’s almost 2 AM. And I am awake. Welcome to my world. Law School.

We had class today, on a Sunday. 10 AM to 6 PM. Yes. And I came back to read some beautiful, beautiful emails from our beloved CGers. I was so moved by a few that I had to take time off my project submissions (deadline 4 PM, 16-04-2012) and actually look for a stock photograph that I could use as my new meme: ‘Annoying CG Kid’. I have some 200 captions that I have already thought off.

See, I understand that you’re not going through the best of times. What with most of the year being spent in BBMing, procrastinating and other such productive pursuits, recreational ones like attempts at getting into Law School have had to be put on hold. And then you come across this wonderful website, where NALSARites who are apparently very ‘helpful’ help you out! And you think to yourself “Ah, wonderful, I’ll outsource my preparation to them”. And then, you send us an email. Very articulate, structured and excessively rich in detail:

Hey thnx 4 dizz wbsyt. i actlly dint stdy 4 clat thruout d yr. especilly gk. i hte gk. so i dnt stdy. oder sbjcts i’ve mnged 2 finish, bt i h8 gk, so i cud neva strt it. WHAT DO I DO. PLEASE HELP ME. I WANT 2 GET IN2 SUM OSUM COLLG LYK NLSAR AND HLP U GUYZZZZ.

HOPE 4 SUM SUPPORTIVE CMMENTS 4M UA SYD.

THANKZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I obviously, for a moment, am overwhelmed by such love, that I ignore the yelling. And the zillion Z’s. And then I notice, that I’ve answered these questions in previous posts. But since you hated GK, you censored your eyes to the websites posts. This should probably explain how you see stuff:

CG Meme
Now, you must understand that CG is here to help. And all that sappy stuff about “always being there” is true. But unless you are helpful in your questions, you’ll only get howlers for replies. Especially if The Master happens to forward the email to me. Let me put this subtly: Do not make the mistake of taking us for granted. I understand procrastination better than most of you do (since I’ve mastered at it in the last two years), I empathise with your situation of laziness (20 years now, docs have given up.), but really? You expect us to draw you a plan on THIS?

Some cheek, it takes, to send emails to us telling us how brilliant the website is, and not having read the articles on it. For the last time, everything that you want is on the website. However, this is for the lot that I like to call the “Annoying CG Kids”. Here:

  1. Start with sizing yourself up. How much have I done? How much should I do? What have I done? Why did I do this to myself?  For life, and for CLAT, these are very pertinent questions.
  2. Next, give yourself ample free time. Take every minute of it. And give it to GK preparation.
  3. Do you like taking breaks? Do you? Try the past tense, child. The past tense.
  4. Now, there should be GK wherever you go. When you look in the mirror, you should see “I suck at GK”, something like this. Okay, that’s a little extreme. But you get the drift, right? Finish the newspaper with breakfast, do the questions in Pratiyogita Darpan during your Metro/Bus ride from home to somewhere or from somewhere to somewhere, make random connects to random GK things. So, for example, you read “I am hot” written on the poster, try remembering the Kyoto Protocol (Since you didn’t do GK, clue: Global Warming). Did you see athletics somewhere? Or perhaps, your local stadium? Time to connect it to the CWG Scam. If you see those glib Telecom Co. advertisements on 2G somewhere, remember A. Raja
  5. Next, finish the compendiums, I don’t know how you would do this, but do it, take MINIMUM (meaning “as little as possible”) time to finish this off in.
  6. An yearbook, Penguin or Panorama would be helpful. This is, if you aren’t sure of yourself (I don’t know how you could be, but, well)
  7. Finish the previous editions of Pratiyogita Darpan. Be so thorough in them that you should know what page number has what report.
  8. Err, make notes? *Capt. Obvious*
  9. Put in some effort to read the previous CG posts.
  10. Take as many Tests as you can. Practice and solve as many GK questions as you can.
  11. Don’t stop reading the newspaper
  12. There is a condensed version of The Hindu Diary of Events 2011 lying around the website. Look for it and finish it. I am not linking it here, look for it.
  13. And I don’t know why these are forwarded to me, since my English borders on some lost Slavic tongue. But people tend to not understand why they are losing out time in the English section, despite being brilliant at it. Simple, this is a question of strategy. Practice reading fast, as a certain very important person will tell you (Sorry, couldn’t resist that!) and also, read the questions first. You’ll know what you’re looking for when you read the passage next.
  14. Really, it’s not that boring. Just put in some effort. And stop doing other stuff for a few more days. The torture will be over.
  15. Unless you’re sure that your miseries did not pile up because of you, do not send us emails that are so vague and pointless that I actually have to sit and look for links to the older posts.

This was not meant for ANYONE personally. Except Nalsar, maybe. Where sleepless nights, and tiring days have become a new norm. Very cathartic, this website has been for me.

All the best, kids!
A!

27 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve started answering GK papers. I suck at it. So for the answers that are marked wrong by me, am I supposed to learn them like, on the spot? Will I ACTUALLY be able to remember ’em in the future? Or is there any other way to learn them?

    • You should really re-think posting this question here, especially after reading through this entire post 😐

      How can anybody, apart from yourself, tell YOU whether YOU have the capability/acumen/capacity or any such parameter to learn something *on the spot* or ref. point. 8 *make notes* for future reference.

      I think we should really save ourselves some dignity and stop being redundant/repetitive/irritating. This is like taking undue advantage of the facility. 

    • To quote V from V for Vendetta: “These no certainty, only opportunity”.

      What other options do you have apart from “learning them on the spot”? 

      What if you learn it later? Will you ACTUALLY be able to remember’em in the future? 

      Whenever you learn it, can you be sure that you’ll remember the answer? This is a trick question.

  2. tiz is d prblm wer iwas facing 4 lng time,
                            thank you sir, 4 ur guidenss.

                                                         an aspirant of CLAT.

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  4. I may not be able to completely empathise, but I can sympathise. Work load must be rough. Goes to show how awesomeyou guys really are.

  5. LOL. I know many such butt-holes! they are actually not determinate about the exam, their career or “the dream law school”. They are just busy smoking bong or hukkah, partying for shit and enjoying their BIG-DADDY’s income the whole year and when the exam is near they either reach towards excelling students or admins of such websites for study material and preparation strategy. Now, I tell you, even if you spend your precious time writing articles for such morons or provide them any sort of material to study from, it isn’t wort it. They wouldn’t even work with that. They will still procrastinate. Simple reason behind this is the lack of determination and that is very clearly seen in his message. Dude, if you think wRiTin lK DiS wud make you look cool, then you should probably join primary school! You won’t ever get into SUM OSUM COLLG with this attitude.

    If it sounds harsh, that is because it is plausibly correct.

  6. ok .. GK is not a nightmare anymore … BUT what i wanna ask is that is APRIL’12 included in our CLAT’12 prep ??? cz..majority ppl i know hv stoped reading the newspaper after march . Plz do inform ..cz if april is included den ill start “RIGHT NOW” !! 

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