A Second Chance

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[Written by Veera Mahuli, this article was published on CLATGyan in June 2011. She had cracked NLU Jodhpur through CLAT 2011, but went to ILS Pune so as to stay back home and prepare for CLAT 2012. And now, she made it to NALSAR with a Rank of 64 in CLAT 2012. We republish this as it, undoubtedly, deserves to be read again – Asad]

Everyone is fit for a second chance. My class 10th boards had just wrapped up and I was disposed to accomplish multifarious things, all as different as chalk is to cheese. Psychiatry, biotechnology, masters in politics/economics/psychology, Indian foreign service, journalism, linguistics, art history, criminal investigator (:P) etc. Turmoil. Chaos. Name it and I had a sudden predilection for it. The day of the results turned up, and I hadn’t made any progress on the decision front. I filled in the preference form for all three streams. A month long of deliberation and head scratching and I decided to take up Humanities/Arts. Why? Simple. I just felt like it. That’s my reason behind doing precisely everything in life. It probably sounds lame, immature and pointless and too casual, but it’s one hell of a reason to do something. My first two days in an HSC Arts college and I hated it. Out of practically nowhere I was scared, I started having second thoughts. But this fear that crept into me, it was of a different kind. I liked experiencing it. It felt good to take a risk, to not know what lies in store!

23ecf9721ef831eb3a2f67eb8f960efe_400x400A friend of mine, while we were engaged in one of those ‘what after 12th’ conversations informed me about CLAT. I did some research. And I knew this is what I wanted. Again, the same old reason. I waited for a while, what if I wasn’t just enough passionate about it. But I was apparently. More than I have ever been about anything. So I took the first steps, enrolled into a coaching centre, made aesthetic time tables- a new one each week, because I never stuck to one(:P), bought fancy stationery and made plans. Good ones. Big ones. I seemed to know the right things to do but I never did them in the right way! Or so it seems. Guilt pangs, mood swings, hair pulling sessions, nights spent staring at the ceiling, finding everything and everyone annoying, tiresome, painful and guilt-inducing got me nowhere. Of course. Why did I go through all this- I don’t know! Nobody understood either. Was I too hard on myself? Toomany expectations? Or the fear of underachieving? Why was I such an ass/(idiot)? Whatever. The point being, I don’t need to know right now! I don’t have to figure it out! That’s the beauty of answers. They come to you at the right time, when they have to! All I know now is that I still want to do what I wanted to a year back. Probably much much more now than then. If nothing else, I rake immense satisfaction in the fact that my passion is alive and yes, I call the shots! And that’s what I need. Because I know as long as you are passionate about something you end up doing it right!

My prep for CLAT 2011 wasn’t the hardest I have ever worked. My rank might get me into a good law school. But I won’t go. This time because I don’t feel like. My method of taking important life-decisions might get a sceptical response but, hey it works for me! It worked out then and probably it will now! I have been told taking a drop is stupid and that I will be missing out on a golden opportunity. But my golden opportunity will be studying in NLSIU/NALSAR. You want what you want and you have to get it!

As I write this article I feel the same fear. And it thrills me, I live for this thrill. It tells me I am getting it right. I may or may not make it next year. I’ll curse myself if I get a rank which isn’t even as good as what I have now. But I’ll get over it. However, it will prick me all lifelong if I don’t give my dream, myself, a second chance. The bottom line is I have to do it and the only way out is to be happy about it!

It’s okay to screw up. It’s okay to be unreasonable. Nobody is judging you! And like I said, second chances are deserved by everyone. You should just feel like it!

Veera Mahuli.

41 COMMENTS

  1. “It’s okay to screw up. It’s okay to be unreasonable. Nobody is judging you! And like I said, second chances are deserved by everyone. You should just feel like it! ”

    Great read .

  2. i took a drop too. 
    i am going to nlsiu. 
    but let me warn you, the next year would be hell. 
    you will make it, if u keep ur head. 
    best of luck.

  3. I agree. 🙂 I screwed up my 12th. Then I came across CLAT. I dropped. Got into NLS. Just follow your dream  and let nobody stop you. Good luck.  

  4. This was such a good read!

    Yes, I screwed up my Class 12th too. And I got a bad rank this year in my first attempt. Life does not go according to what you plan.

    Maybe I did not prepare in a good enough manner. Maybe I was too overconfident. Or maybe it was simply not my time, my luck.

    Next year, we shall see. If I perform equally bad.. then I will know it was never meant to be. If I get NALSAR.. I’ll know *I deserved what I desire* albeit the wrong time. =)

    • OMG!..
      It’s like, I’ve the same exact situation, right now and thinking!  🙂
      Taking up CLAT 2012..If I’ll make it, then I’ll come to know that Law is ‘The’ thing for me…Maybe, this time around, it wasn’t meant to be( to make it to NLS/NALSAR). The Hope is alive!
      Cheers! 🙂

      • Me too ……….. screwed up my 12th std that to badly and my clat result are not well and my parents they are angry …….even i am angry on myself too and ya its so correct i took a right decision but did not do the right thing to achieve my aim thank you for posting it and yes i want to be there [at NALSAR]
        my hope is also alive and definitely will be living with me each day ………………

  5. do u think dropping a year is safe??? i am taking admission in DU to be safe and also i’ll be preparing for clat this year.

    am i doing right???

    will i be able to cope up with both the things..???

    • Its all in your hands. depends on whether you think you can do it or not 🙂 I am taking admission in ILS too. If you want to make it next year real bad  then you’ll learn to cope up with both! your call. best of luck with your decision!

      • unlike most people i think dropping a year is most definately worth it, if it means you go to the college you’ve always wanted to, but while i say that you also need to be level headed and put your heart into it and im sure you’ll do awesome 🙂

      • Fortunately i did no screw up my 12th boards this year…. i had to take a revenge on my 10th boards…. had it…. got 93.6% in 12th…. i am also going fir ILS this year, next year its CLAT’s turn for the revenge!!!

  6. Wow. Sounds a lil like me. I feel reassured after reading this. And although people might say you’re being stupid, its only because what we are supposed to do is so stereotyped. Today, its not about what you want. Its about What you’ll get if you follow what the world imposes on you. And i dont accept this way of living. So go ahead with your passion and your decision to aim higher! Goodluck to you, my best wishes 🙂

  7. I am planning to join ILS too, maybe things were meant to happen this way, maybe we were meant to be nls-batch of 2017 😉 .. i guess if we are determined nothing can stop us from cracking CLAT2012 ! My only issue is leaving bangalore.. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing..

  8. You can do anything you set your mind to! Make your mind, put all your strength and acheive your aims. Amazing end to the article.
    All the best!

  9. A REPLY BY:
    “sidhanth said on Saturday, June 18, 2011, 12:28

    i took a drop too. 
    i am going to nlsiu. 
    but let me warn you, the next year would be hell. 
    you will make it, if u keep ur head. 
    best of luck.”

    y is it said LET ME WARN YOU, THE NEXT YEAR WOULD BE HELL”??

  10. I had a chance last year to give clat but din’t give it thought will study well in 2011 and appear in 2012.enrolled myself in a college studied a lot atleast 10 hours a day (in the last 40 days)but din’t make it feels bad and pathetic and a looser but it really dosen’t matter life has to go on may be I wasn’t good enough for these top colleges or I don’t deserve them but I have no regrets bcoz I know I tried and enjoyed preparing for it well that is the only thing that I can say 2 console myself but the fact is don’t waste any chance atleast for your satisfaction.thought i’ll prove people wrong abt me bt mayb I proved me wrong abt myself…
    all d best 2 all!!! n yes thanku cg.

  11. One needs to realize what can/cannot be done in a year’s time. ‘Investing’ is something even the Rank 1 of CLAT can do (if he’s aiming for Rank 1 in JEE), but a little bit of introspection before taking a drop/investing is to be done – there is a need for some clever guessing here – whether you actually will make it to the top 60 next year can actually be calculated by looking at how good you did this year – not going to tell how, but yes judging a person’s future results by looking at current results are possible. I know I’m sounding like a drunk bard here, but still, the point I’m trying to make is that every other nobody’s taking a drop hoping to make it to the top. They study I agree but are so engrossed in doing so that they forget the mistakes they’ve done in the previous attempt. Forgetting the past is something you absolutely cannot do, and dreaming of utopia is something people always do and waste time – having the memories of the bloody-friday and working till the next bloody-friday is what needs to be done. A person who can judge himself and enrol himself in NLS-Assam (for all I care) and works his back off is who’ll make it. Listen to your your parents (they better piss you off) and enrol yourself in the law-school your’e getting and pursue the ‘subject’ which you hold so close to your ha*art.

    This might be a bit too unsolicited coming from a guy who actually screwed up one-year’s CLAT – but I’m guessing you get the hang of things.

    (BTW Veera – great  piece! 🙂 )

  12. got 95% in boards and thinking about joining du and giving CLAT a second shot next year..how wise would it be?? taking up which subject would be most advisable considering the plan? anyone with the same plan here???

  13. guys, i din got selected n clat dz year 🙁 , shud i realy go 4 d nxt attempt…..???
    z t safe, m scard,f i din got selected
     nxt year olso dnnnnnn………….!!!!!!

  14. I screwed up my boards. Thank you for re-posting this write-up, it makes me feel so much better.
    I slogges my a** off for a month for CLAT ’12. My score was 124 and rank was 1,122. I made it to CNLU Patna, but my parents don’t want me to go there. So, I plan to drop a year, take up BA Literature and try again. 🙂

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