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As I write this article, I recollect the 12th of May. Yes, I wish for a time reversal machine right now even though realistically that it won’t be happening (Obviously!). I probably can’t express what is on my mind now, because I don’t know it either; should I be lamenting over the fact that even in my second attempt I couldn’t make it to law school or should I look forward to a new beginning, a beginning after a failure.
I’d frequented the CG website for many inspiring articles by Asad and Co apart from grabbing the GK compendiums (Thankyou, CG). It made me courageous to take a drop and prepare for CLAT again. I always dreamt of being one of the lawschool-ite being with intelligent people and becoming one of them, someday. But, that dream can never be achievable because I was told yet again for the second time – I Failed.
31st May was the worst day I could’ve imagined, I never anticipated failure. Everyone I met filled me with optimism- “One can never fail the second time”, “You’ve worked real hard and you’ll definitely make it”. So I wasn’t expecting this coming for the second time in a row. It hurts to tell people the truth, it hurts real bad. And more than anything else its shaming.
I’ve been reading a lot of Robin Sharma to keep me from getting depressed. He says, “Failure makes you stronger in life”. THIS didn’t. It made me weak every time I answered phone calls as to how I had fared. Things weren’t made easy, with a topper affronting me for scoring low when in fact I had helped her in every way during the preparation time. But on the other hand, I had other friends too, to motivate me and help me survive this failure. At the end of the day when I think about this, I remember what both my friend and mom had said “it’s not whether I have cleared this exam or not, it’s what the exam has made out of me- a good human” and it makes me proud to say, even though I failed, I emerged victorious.
I wished to have several goals accomplished, to work as an associate to a great IPR professor and also to tell all those who told that I wasn’t intelligent that I am capable. Maybe life is giving me a second chance; I am busy redeveloping and redesigning my goals towards a new future and being a good human will always feature on that list.