Life of a Right-angled Triangle


This article has been submitted by Anonymous for the CLATGyan Blog Post Writing Competition. If you think this article is a good read, ‘Like’ this article on Facebook (the button is at the bottom of this piece) or post a comment using the ‘comments’ section below.

I think these humans fantasize about my clan when they’re doing whatever it is that they do. Their whole life revolves around us, for some unknown and un-Godly (our God has 10 sides to him, if you were wondering) reason. It has something to do with history, surely and everything they think is ‘sacred’. Us, right angled t’s, are everywhere, in their books, in their theories of life and their world (in one theory, someone said that the Earth is a right angled triangle; what a load of bollocks) and even in their theories of social studies.

They sine me up everywhere, co-sine me wherever I’m needed but I’m like a tangent that they don’t get. Trigonometry is one of those things that us righties are amused by; we don’t understand its complexities ourselves, and these humans keep making it worse with their irrelevant equations (sin^3x+cos^123120378951x / 32sinxcosx, for example).

Surely, this Pythagoras guy has something to do with it. This guy is the Mahmud of Ghazni or Nadir Shah of the triangle world. He stole our sacred artifacts and walked away with our honor and then, he became world famous. His equation belittled my clan and governed us by some numbers (base squared + opposite side squared equals hypotenuse squared, it seems), like those petty little humans are governed.

We became the most unimportant of the house triangles because of our infinite population, most of whom live in closed books. According to a study, by Sir Rhombus, the fourth, house of Polygon, right angled triangles outnumber all the other right angled geometric shapes and even have a larger population than twenty times the current human population. We could understand if if we were a weird fetish to some of the humans, but being a weird fetish to all humans is pretty scary and downright mental.

Though I keep ranting about out population, I must admit that it has help us quite a bit in the was against the 3Ds, which we’re losing, as you can clearly see. Their weapons are far superior and they easily absorb us into their bodies. My only point, is, though, we’re not one of your french girls, we don’t want to be everywhere.

I was drawn as a right angled-triangle and we righties live quite an un-humanly life . We used to live a life of ease, usually, but now, these suckers summon us on these black thingys (that they call boards) and make some really bad jokes about how we’re hard to get (we’re triangles, you don’t get triangles, losers). They even put us in some rooms with kids and say things about our height and area (how about we talk about your volume and weight and formulate  things like weight= stupidity times food intake times inability to perceive inconsequential things).

I hate humans. But it is not me that matters. It is the parliament of the democratic and three-pointed house of Triangles that matters and they just announced, like any other prudent house would have, this: “the parliament of the democratic and three-pointed house of Triangles has passed a legislation to change our laws so that humans need another 5,000 years to figure us out.”

The final part of this note is to say, Ha, suckers.


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