This article has been submitted by Megana N for the CLATGyan Blog Post Writing Competition. If you think this article is a good read, ‘Like’ this article on Facebook (the button is at the bottom of this piece) or post a comment using the ‘comments’ section below.
Finally the much dreaded examination of the year is a thing of the past. CLAT 2013 is over! Hope you did well. J
I don’t really know what I’m going to type here, writer’s block being my ‘best friend forever’, but I’ll make an effort.
All throughout my class XI and XII, whenever somebody asked me what I had planned for after high school, I used to say “English honors. That or social work!” because that is what I used to believe. I had always wanted to join a good college and read novels because I love reading (Yes, English honors is all about reading … or is it?) or do something for the people. I had also short-listed some colleges and had half of the things planned out. But during the last few months of Class XII, I started asking myself what I would do after graduating with a degree in English or in Social Work. I listed my options but neither of them was very enticing. Then one day, my parents asked me, for the final time, what plans I had and I told them I’m not sure. (Not sure?!) So then my dad suggested I could go for Law. And I looked at him and laughed.
”L-a-w” … with the word resounding in my head all day long I decided to use Google. Digging deeper, the avenue I had never even considered started appealing to me and I went ahead and applied for CLAT 2013.
I remember asking myself if I was capable enough to pull it off and then telling myself that there is no harm in trying. And so I did. I tried.
I hadn’t joined any coaching classes and had just one month to do all that was required of me. So Day 1, I was ready with a neat time-table, pleased with myself. I had arranged for the books that I required and got to work. The first two days, I stuck to the time table religiously and on the third, I began to slack. I don’t remember how I stumbled across CLATGyan but I’m glad that I did. Its post titled ‘Busting your phony confidence!’ did the trick and I was back on track… for just another day or two.
Those who know me well know how pig-headed I can get. Nothing, I repeat, nothing can motivate me. And know this: I’m not proud to accept it. I used to imagine how happy everyone would be if I cracked CLAT in the hope that that will set me to work but no; that worked for a mere half day and after that I was back to square one. There were days when I studied for an hour or two and some wherein I didn’t study at all! All the while I used to tell myself that I’ll muddle through. ‘Over confidence’ is the word you are probably looking for but believe me, it was not over confidence but lack of seriousness. I know how much I’ve cried and cursed myself for not being serious at such an important time of my life. I still am not. I’m still taking things for granted. And I still can’t help it.
Anyway, somehow I managed taking the test but I don’t know if I’ll make it through. There is no use thinking about it now because I cannot help it. I’ll be astounded and obviously euphoric if I get selected but I like to think about the ‘what ifs’ when things are uncertain. And that is exactly how I’m passing my days. I’m applying to other colleges just in case. And of course, I’m reading.
So here is wishing you good luck for the coming results! J
I sincerely apologize for such a gloomy write-up.
P.S. – If you’re into reading, try ‘A House for Mr. Biswas’ by VS Naipaul. It is the book I’m currently reading and it is marvelous! And also Sidney Sheldon’s ‘Rage of Angels’ and Ayn Rand’s ‘The Fountainhead’. They are my all-time favorites.
Have a nice day!